A problem…

I’m not too sure if anyone remembers my previous blog, where I wrote about a particular issue that I kept experiencing in Sydney, namely, people assuming (wrongly) that I am a lesbian.

I had expected that when I came to Madrid that this issue would dissipate. (I should add a disclaimer here that I am not, in any way, unhappy to be mistaken as being a lesbian. If I was one, I would be delighted! But the problem is that I am not, but people seem to believe that I am, and I honestly don’t know why).


Case in point. The other day, I was catching the Metro to my school, when a lady sat down opposite me. There was lots of space in the carriage that day, but I didn’t really care. However, as the journey went on, I became aware that she was watching me. Very, very closely. I looked up, and she smiled at me. So I smiled back. Then she raised her eyebrows at me, invitingly. I didn’t know what to do here, so I smiled away. She kept looking, and raising her eyebrows, until I realised that she was trying to make a move, and I looked away.

Then, tonight, I went to a conversation exchange meet up. I was talking with an attractive English lady, and in the course of the evening, no less than three men came up to her and offered their numbers. They totally ignored me. It was as if I was a non-person. The only person who came to talk to me was a lady who declared herself to be (you guessed it) interested in other ladies.


Look, I am flattered. I love that people are interested! But I honestly don’t understand WHY! Why do some people seem to assume that I am a lesbian, when I’m not? Is it my hair? My clothes? My general attitude? Some other inaccurate cliched idea? I honestly don’t know, but it’s fascinating that the same thing seems to happen in Spain as in Australia.

I’m not upset by this, but I would love to know what it is that I’m doing that is repelling the men, and attracting the ladies! Any ideas very welcome 🙂

2 thoughts on “A problem…

  1. For what it’s worth, Helen, from the moment I first saw you it has never occurred to me that you might be a lesbian. Mind you back then lesbians weren’t real on my radar. But you don’t exhibit the masculine traits that many I now take to be lesbians do. I suspect not taking pains to be glamourous is something that perhaps some lesbians take as an indicator of a woman’s inclination. I may be unusual among straight men but I much prefer a dressed-down, unornamented look.


    • Thank you, Alex! It’s good to know that not everyone draws that conclusion. I think you’re right about the lack of glamour, though. Maybe the fact that I don’t wear make up, or I’m not very “girly” makes people assume that I’m possibly a lesbian. But it’s all based on such inaccurate stereotypes, isn’t it? I mean, someone’s sexuality cannot be inferred from the fact that they don’t like to wear high heels or similar. What a strange world this is!


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